When I read the anonymous guest commentary, "Effortless Perfection?," in the Oct. 24 edition of The Chronicle, I was worried and saddened, but not surprised. I was worried about the student who had written the column, and therefore took immediate steps to identify her so that help might be made available. Unfortunately, this was not possible, and at the time of this writing I remain concerned and hope she will contact me or one of my colleagues at CAPS---we can help.
I remain saddened by the message the student's letter sends of the felt need of many to strive for perfection while at the same time hiding hurt and stress that outweighs any benefit of their efforts. It troubles and angers me that daycare centers now advertise as an enticement to parents the colleges their "graduates" attend, that parents camp out in parking lots to get first shot at admission for their little ones into the "right" pre-schools. The striving for perfect grades beginning in elementary school and culminating in taking as many AP courses as possible in high school---done right, one can mark their high school graduation with a GPA higher than 4.0. And let's be sure to load our resumes and applications with memberships in groups and clubs, service activities and tales of prowess in athletics, dance, drama and the science fair.
And then one arrives at Duke and finds oneself in the company of strivers and perfectionists just like themselves. High grades, right greek organization, ideal weight and build, correct dress, popular friends, and more activities and organizations to pad the burgeoning resume as we now join the pursuit the best medical, law and graduate schools.
Is there any wonder why students caught in the above pattern experience anxiety, feel depressed, and in the worse cases consider self-harm. Surprised? No, we see them everyday and in increasing numbers at CAPS. And it's not just female students; effortless perfection for the female becomes "effortless cool" for the male.
There is nothing wrong with setting high goals for oneself and striving to accomplish them, that is until our lives become devoured by an obsessive desire to be perfect in every way, when being less than perfect, or God forbid, average in some aspect of our life leads to uncontrollable anxiety and unmanageable depression and thoughts of suicide. When, and hopefully before this happens, it is time to acquire a different perspective and some expert help in coping with such an irrational style of living. Call CAPS at 660-1000. We will help.
Jim Clack
Director, Counseling and Psychological Services
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