Last year, The Chronicle featured possible replacements for retiring President Nan Keohane. The list, while distinguished and long, lacked a bit of pizzazz. No one mentioned appears young enough to remember his or her exciting undergraduate years. The absence of youth troubles me deeply. Even more worrisome than the question of "Who will be the next Duke President?" is a bit more personal and keeps entering conversation as the semester digs deeper into fall: "What are you doing next year?" The only logical solution to these two agonizing queries is to combine the answers.
From now on, when people ask me that dreadful question regarding my future, I will simply answer that I plan on becoming the next Duke University President. Some may scoff, many may chortle and others will simply ignore me. That will be unfortunate for them. After proportionately comparing past accomplishments, at the ripe age of 21, I feel as if Duke is the next logical step for organizational management in my life.
My qualifications go beyond knowing the ins and outs of the campus better than candidates from lesser schools commonly referred to as "Ivies" or other institutions. Equally important, my fundraising skills have been tested frequently throughout my life. In high school I raised $250 for the Cystic Fibrosis Walk. Last year I successfully lobbied my parents to purchase my plane ticket abroad. As a fifth-grader, I mowed lawns to increase my investment portfolio through the acquisition of Dikembe Mutumbo's rookie card to complement my complete sets of Topps baseball cards in 1986 and 1987.
Aside from raising a bit of cash, I also handle budgets incredibly well by slashing unnecessary costs. Campus events can kiss fresh food and bottled water good-bye. To funnel more money into Arts and Sciences, we'd eat day-old Alpine bagels and carry Nalgene's to every meeting (I'll provide lessons on drinking fountain use). I'd sell the President's House and move into the Perkins sub-basement, opting for the red couch over a king sized mattress as a way to show my dedication to Duke.
As for vision, there'd be a few more capital improvements, including a monster truck arena on Campus Drive. Monorails are too archaic a transportation solution for Duke; imagine traveling from East to West on a gondola. The East Campus wall would be torn down to construct a Durham homeless shelter to improve Duke-Durham relations.
Despite this compelling vision and resume, I have a strange feeling that search committee chair Robert Steel will classify my application as a "low priority." At what point, though, does someone become a medium or high priority for president? Valuing accomplishments and qualifications constantly changes through life. What Christoph Guttentag found attractive appears a pittance to graduate school selection committees. Prospective employers desire related work experience or accomplishments, regardless of whether or not they are a true measure of a person's abilities.
What one person deems an important accomplishment often seems meaningless to another. The skills necessary to teach a child to read are the same as working to improve safety infrastructure or on-campus social programming, yet the latter, as a more tangible set of tasks, appears to some as a greater accomplishment. It may not be deemed grand enough in scope, regardless of the commitment and ability displayed in accomplishing the feat. Clearly, physical results overshadow intangible outcomes from previous work.
Paper now eclipses personality. At research institutions publications supercede personal interactions and teaching skills when acquiring tenure. Concentration on resume-filling accomplishments is not limited to higher education.
Current Smithsonian Secretary Lawrence Small seemed a qualified candidate to lead the national museums and research facilities, after working as the Fannie Mae C.E.O. It was not until after his departure from the mortgage company that administrative ineptitude shone through with enormous debts at Fannie Mae. On paper, Small appeared as capable as any prospective candidate to lead the Smithsonian. Several years ago, the Institute's top scientists threatened resignation over his reform plans. He has since settled down, while the National Zoo (which he oversees) undergoes the first ever Congressional hearings following inept management by one of his appointees.
Small's university degrees and former positions were enough to gain him the post he now holds, not the quality of his work or reportedly coarse personal skills. He simply represents the "accomplishment" culture coursing through society's veins and creating ladders leading to desirable posts. Experience cannot, nor should not, be the major factor when deciding upon a person. Paper cannot portray panache.
As college students we are told that we are adults capable of anything, yet clearly we are not given responsibility of our own destiny with endless rules restricting personal choice from housing options, academic graduation requirements and even basketball game entry. At what point does a person become qualified to work without guidance, as an autonomous, productive member of society without being reminded of their youth and inexperience? An obsession with past experience, while clearly demonstrative of ability, does not guarantee choosing the right person. Wisdom to lead and perform comes with age and experience. These qualities often eliminate youthful idealism, which despite often emanating from naivety and irrationality remains an important ingredient in social progress. The young are told that they are the future, yet often when they assert themselves, they are decried as too young and naive. Deciding on the correct amount of experience and idealism is critical in advancing not simply people, but society as well.
Maybe I'm not the best available person to succeed President Keohane. I'd probably offend someone with youthful brashness, but give me a few years and I'll be ready to fill some leadership position. Hopefully, by then I won't be too complacent to promote positive advancement. In the meantime it looks like an experienced administrator will be available to run Duke--his name is Gray Davis.
Kevin Ogorzalek is a Trinity senior. His column appears every other Tuesday.
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