Entertainment: Just when you thought it couldn't get any stupider

Today, we live in a world very much against the stereotype. It has become politically incorrect to assume anything about any group of people without incurring the wrath of the far left, the far right, Hollywood and Jesse Jackson. There is one group, however, that remains a viable target for any and all name-calling. This group has had its image dragged through the mud, been blamed for destruction of property and suffered the indignation of slanderous comments regarding its general lack of intellect, manners and sobriety. Yes, the frat boy has been battered around by public opinion and has few who are willing to stand in his corner and fight these appalling accusations... with a straight face at least.

Whether they be your friends or your enemies, these occasionally belligerent morons cannot help but make you smile. Sadly, sometimes this benevolent and accommodating spirit produces terrifyingly stupid outcomes. The events we present here are not to be honored or glorified. These events are the reminders that things can sometimes go too far. But at the same time, there is a sadistic tinge of humor to be found in these memories. Stories were meant to be shared and hey, you might even learn something. So let's all delve into the rich and whiskey-stained history annals of the stupid frat guy and consider the question du jour: Who are these sick people?  Below are five stories. Four are true. See how well you know your insanity and guess which one didn't really happen. Well, hasn't happened yet...

I. Herby the Goat
Upon discovering the first day of pledging that they were to be known forthwith as "goats" for the next three months, one pledge class decided to fight degradation with humor. They purchased a live goat from a farm in rural North Carolina and built for it a comfortable, spacious pen in the backyard of the off-campus house where many of the seniors in the fraternity lived. The goat became affectionately known as Herbivore Quincy Merriweather and enjoyed numerous afternoon walks on campus, including a trip aboard the East-West bus and a short jog on the treadmill in Card Gym. Herby now lives very comfortably on a farm outside Charlotte, but keep your eyes peeled, his return flight has already been booked.

II. A Drunken Bus Ride
At the conclusion of his fraternity's mid-rush semi-formal, one drunken frat boy decided that the Duke bus rented for the party looked lonely sitting in front of Parizade's all alone. With the driver on a break but the keys in the ignition, the bus just seemed to need a few riders and Keanu Reeves to fulfill its automotive destiny. A few hopped on and much to the driver's chagrin, the frat boy pulled out of the parking lot and onto Main street. The joy ride did not last terribly long before the bus was parked/crashed through a fire hydrant at the corner of Markham and Lancaster streets. An investigation into the incident followed, but no drunken frat boys were brought to trial.

III. The BC Walkway Bungee Jump
Any willing thrill-seeker can pay about a hundred dollars to any number of local adventure companies to try skydiving or bungee jumping, but many students are on a tight budget and look for creative ways to save money. One group of drunken frat boys decided to buy their own elastic cord, place mattresses on the ground under the Bryan Center Walkway, and test the limits of their own stupidity. One end of the elastic cord was tied to the benches on the walkway and the other was tied to the belt of a hefty frat boy. The cord, of course, slipped off the bench, and the senior in question tumbled through the air onto the mattress safety net. Amazingly, he walked away with only bruises and a dislocated shoulder. The rest of the group decided they would live vicariously through him and not attempt the bungee/skydive.

IV. Locked in at K-ville
Sometimes the Cameron Crazies look a little too comfortable in their tents eating free pizza and playing online fantasy RPG's (role playing games--if you've never played one, you have completed the first step towards being cool). One group of drunken frat boys believed it was time to remind the Crazies that they were "chained" together by their dedication. Twenty small luggage combination locks were purchased, and in the middle of the night, all tent zippers were securely locked together. A bullhorn was blown and a tent check called and twenty tents began to struggle and bulge like amoebas under a microscope. In the end, they were freed with minimal damage to the tents and with a hearty laugh to be had by all. Or at least the five drunken frat boys.

V. Deliberately Setting Oneself on Fire
We all have little tricks and gimmicks that have been picked up along the way using Zippo lighters or quarters or straws. One such popular trick is the ball of fire. If you pour a very small amount of lighter fluid in your hand and light it, the flame will burn the fluid and not your hand. A simple clap will put the fire out and, no harm is done. One drunken frat boy decided to be a little liberal with the fluid and poured it up and down his arm. Upon lighting the fluid in his hand, the flame immediately engulfed his entire arm and the "fireworks" had begun. Some boys stomped on the arm trying to put it out, while others flopped on the ground yelling "Stop, Drop, and Roll!" In the end the drunken frat boy had to be extinguished in the toilet and then rushed to the hospital. He wore a sleeve on the arm for about five months that made him look like a white, Jewish version of Allen Iverson.