In my observation of student life, a few new trends have popped up on the radar that cannot go without mention. Some are good, others wrong and the rest too ridiculous to ignore. And there's nothing better than taking potshots at your peers and the environment you live in to keep a smirk on your face through the tedium that is Friday classes...
The "Collar-Up" Guys. At first it was just one frat in particular. Now, on any given day there are droves of guys sporting their Polo shirts with the collar up. As much as I love feeling like I go to school with Rob Lowe and the cast of "St. Elmo's Fire," can someone please explain what is with this trend? Did someone mistakenly spread the word that it's cool or aesthetically enhancing to do this?
Collar-up in high school meant the boy had a hickey. Trust me, I know a lot of these guys and the only way they would have a hickey is by getting in a freak accident with a vacuum. The funniest thing is that the newest followers of the trend are the same guys who used to heckle the original collar up crew as douche bags. Can we say hypocritical much?
My plan was to make a joke about the revival of members only jackets to close out this section, but I spotted two students wearing them this week. Guess it's time to break out the bangle bracelets and crimpers. Welcome back to the eighties.
The Belmont Pool. When the sun is out and the temperature breaks 80, the Belmont pool is the place to be. And anyone who has stopped by the apartment complex on the weekend may mistake it for an episode of The O.C. Duke kids are out in their skimpiest suits, and some guys free ball in their boxers--super classy. There's boozing, chicken fighting and people getting as rowdy as possible.
Frattiness reaches an all time high with brothers pushing each other in the pool--fully clothed being optimal situation. The only thing that makes this different from the new cult show on FOX is that there are no fistfights or shootings.
This aquatic paradise has been extremely entertaining on a Saturday afternoon, but lately it's been rife with, well, stupidity. The estimated blood alcohol level of pool patrons is double the legal limit, which means that your average a--hole guy is exponentially worse. People are shattering glass bottles all over the deck. Random domestic pets are on the patio being harassed and fed beer. And the best part: the ones who make the pool raucous don't live there. They just show up, blacked out drunk and trash the area for those attempting to enjoy the facilities they pay rent for.
Now, I am all for drinks by the pool and getting ridiculous. But there is a difference between being out of control and drunken anarchy. My advice: keep bringing the cases and kegs. Just take it down a notch. The Near-Breaks. It may be linked to the lunar phases, but it seems that many of the couples I know hit a near-breakup every few weeks. And the eerie part is that they all hit the skids at the same time. Maybe the boyfriends have secret He-Man Woman Hater Club meetings and plan to do this. I think it's the senior year version of what I like to call the "I'm in a frat for the first time" sophomore breakup that lasts for an average of 5.62 days.
Within a week, the near-breaks get back on track and settle back into relationship bliss. All's well, until they hit another wall three weeks later. This stems from the fact that we're seniors and the next nine months is more precious than we've anticipated. There's a lot to do, and a lot of people to spend your time with. That's enough to shake even the single people (who watch the near breaks and thank heaven for being unattached). But like it's sophomore form, the near-break trend will settle down once we get more comfortable in our position as the elders.
Parking in the South Pacific. There's nothing like speeding to campus a half hour before my classes start to fight for a spot in the farthest lot in the Blue Zone. Living in New York for 21 years was necessary preparation for the cutthroat, offensive driving that goes on in this parking area. Each driver brings his own tactics. I've resorted to Christmas shopping maneuvers--following people walking to their cars and asking if I can have their spot. Others time their arrival with departures of on-campus friends. The "strategery" involved with parking your car shows which of us got accepted on academic merit because this task is all about creativity and cunning.
Once we off-campus kids actually park, the hike to campus begins. The upside to this fiasco? I trek so far to and from my car that it eliminates having to go to the gym. I am not excited however, to see how much worse parking gets when all the juniors return from abroad with their vehicles in tow. It should make for some nice road rage. Fifth-Years. I originally thought "fifth-year senior" was a status reserved for athletes that red-shirted for a year. I was wrong though--you can just fail a few classes or get kicked out for plagiarism and hold this coveted title. Maybe I am just out of the loop on a trend that is tradition, but never before have I seen or known about so many students not graduating and returning for another year. Clearly, there are serious circumstances for some students' return to Duke, but those whom I address are those based in academic impropriety and not caring enough to go to class during the first four years. These upper-upper classmen do have their benefits. Some are fraternity face jocks back to make campus a little more attractive. And in all, they are familiar faces that help make us first-time seniors avoid the reality that we're (hopefully) graduating this May.
And there you have it, the latest trends to hit our world. But, as most trends do, these will fade out. Fall will bring cold weather and end the Belmont Pool season. The collar up guys will realize that the erect shirt situation still makes a guy look like a douche bag. The fifth years will graduate in May. By some miracle, spots close to campus will open up in the Blue Zone. And we'll all go back to normal...whatever that is.
Jen Wlach is a Trinity senior. Her column appears every other Friday.
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