Welcome back all. And to the freshmen, welcome to Ms. Wlach's neighborhood. There will be no shoe changing or cardigan wearing, but hopefully I will be able to entertain....
It's August, it's hot and humid, and there's one thing that seems to be on everyone's minds: game. Girls are complaining that they have none. Guys are back on campus gloating about "sick raps" they have worked on all summer. From phone calls with friends to overheard conversations at the gym, undergrads are teeming with ideas of game. At first, I thought it was just Duke kids, trying to analyze and understand the concept like the nerds we are. But last weekend while tending bar, my polar opposite--a Louisiana male wearing flannel, boots and a cowboy hat--asked me, "Does game really work?"
Though my customer expected a smart-ass response, I had nothing. I stood back, shocked that I couldn't think of some off the cuff comment, and took on the puzzled look of a Trinity kid in an engineering lecture.
We talk about game as this universal notion. It is premeditated flirtation so fine-tuned that it ensures you will go home with someone. It's picking up your guy or girl of choice with discreet, near subliminal pick-up lines. Some have great game, and we consider them masters of the elusive concept. Others have weak game and strive, often fruitlessly, to improve. We're quick to rate an individual's game, but we don't look at the larger picture. Yes, there are some cases where a guy or girl's come-ons will be the sole cause for a hook-up. But in most cases, it's the other circumstances that lead to romantic interaction. Reflecting on a host of hook-up stories from my peers, one's game doesn't guarantee an invite back to someone's dorm room or apartment. Other factors will, and do facilitate.
Physical attraction is fundamental. In "Bigger and Blacker," Chris Rock says: "A woman knows if she's gonna f--k you in the first five minutes of meeting you. Women know right away. They're shaking hands like, 'I'm gonna f--k him. I hope he don't say nothing too stupid!'" There is something to be said for chemistry and whether or not two people are drawn to one another. A girl can be working her best game but if a guy isn't attracted to her, she's going back to her place...alone. If a guy that you want starts to hit on you, it doesn't matter what kind of game he is kicking. He could be talking in one of those clicking dialects like Starvin' Marvin and you wouldn't know the difference. He and his friends will think it's his game, but it may all come down to pheromones.
Then there is the time factor. If it's been a while since the person you're hitting on has hooked up, chances are the simple fact of opportunity will overshadow your game. Many a guy has worked sub-par game and gone home with a female thinking he is the man. Truth: He's the only man. I've watched girls drop cheesy lines and still score, completely oblivious of the guy's dry spell. But what you don't know can't hurt your ego.
Game comes out mostly in social situations. Know what else does? Alcohol. And if there ever were a non-game factor to affect one's chances this would be it. We're all aware of beer goggles and the fact that after a few drinks or shots, or a combination of the two, people suddenly become attractive and aggressive. It's at this point that game hits the bottom of the barrel, also known as pawing at one another on the dance floor to "Let's Get It On." Nearly everyone I know has a regrettable romantic experience from a mixer or formal thanks to overcomsumption. Sadly, game becomes null and void when the person you hook up with can't remember what you said the next day.
Despite all the extenuating circumstances, there does exist true, good game. After much thought and discussion, my very wise roommate hit the nail on the head: Game isn't a pre-determined skit or planned conversation. It's not a sure fire line like, "How you doin'?" Game is being able to read people; to take each individual and flirt to his or her specific taste. If there's anything guys should know about women it's that we're all different. What works on one lady could completely turn off another. So before you boys and girls start scheming, realize you are better off simply paying attention to those whom you desire. Then you'll know what they need and get what you want. And that's what I call a win-win situation.
Jen Wlach is a Trinity senior. Her column appears every other Friday.
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