Column: THEO HUXTABLE'S PROTEGE revealed!

It is said that Bob Dylan wrote the Highway 61 Revisited LP's "Like a Rolling Stone" by spilling 20 pages of vitriol in a stream-of-consciousness binge before converting it into a breath-taking six-minute work by infusing it with 1965 music and rhyme. Similarly, the columns published this semester were generated in frustration with many things, but were infused with the lust for improvement, which is, I think, the best purpose of criticism, represented well by Sy-(Snootles)-and-the-Ramblin±-(Root-Beer)-Gnome. The name, in addition to the name of the singer of the Max Rebo Band (Return of the Jedi) and the name of a drink that is one of my personal favorite metaphors, derived from the integrated musical and lyrical vision of Sly and the Family Stone (...I think that might be me holding one of their records in a Trent yearbook photo). There were many other literary influences, but mainly I guess I would say that the primary influence of this column was every person I have ever met, heard or listened to.

In December 1969 John Lennon began something called "bagism," wherein he spoke to the public in bed wearing a ridiculous-looking bag over his head. The basic idea was to envision a world wherein no one was looked at differently because of their race, gender or physical appearance. This column, in addition to endeavoring to spur us to such a world, was able to employ "bagism" because of the anonymity of the author. The columnist is able to relish a Walt Whitman empathy with everyone at the school, because, temporarily, no such barriers exist. As such, I strived to generate a column people could connect with, particularly people whose voices had not been heard as much. But now that, to some extent, my identity is known, perhaps I ought to give a better introduction: "I live in Durham, N.C... I can be seen with a generic Winn-Dixie sodapop bottle of water and a thin psychedelic necktie hearing the 1967 Monterey International Pop Festival in the air.Music, Love, & Flowers..Minor Threat might say I got the straight edge."

I would like to thank The Chronicle, my bash brothers back home, my family, and everyone I have had the pleasure of associating with here at Duke, such as those with whom I lived in Aycock, Trent 3, House F and 830 Onslow St. I was immensely grateful for the opportunity to, in the words of MC Hammer, "Bust it with the Oaktown lyrics" for everyone this semester. It has been fulfilling and exciting, particularly when people who had figured out who the composer was told me how a column affected them. I didn't really succeed in saying anything inflammatory, but I hope that I did speak with commitment and honesty to say the things I wanted to say. I aimed to generate dialogue, not controversy. If you would like to discuss anything in any of the columns, just send me an electronic mail, since I don't have any finals this week, for some reason. I think that I expressed most everything I wanted to over the course of the column (except the phrase "Be sure to wear flowers in your A's helmet"), though I was tempted to put this paragraph somewhere: "Indeed, I have been stunned here at how much culture one place could have. People of every race imaginable, all kinds of social classes living in the same place, a dedication to learning and the arts, a team everyone can pull for, just something intense in the atmosphere. Indeed, the city of Durham is a phenomenal place. I guess Duke isn't bad either." In fact, Duke is a stunningly amazing place, and to the underclassmen, I encourage you all to run with your arms open wide toward everything there is here. But also, get into our pleasurable Bull City (to learn more about "D-Town," as well as this country, I encourage everyone to read an interesting book called The Best of Enemies: Race and Reconciliation in the New South) - its neighborhoods, its organizations, its downtown, its population. To the seniors, meanwhile, now that we can finally constructively contribute to humanity, I offer this George Harrison quote I had hung from my Clocktower Quad window: "With our love we could save the world." It is definitely a beautiful world (though it might be a bit more beautiful if my cassette of the Bruce Springsteen double album The River hadn't busted), but there is so much work to be done. We will have the education, the money and the power to do something.

THEODORE HUXTABLE'S PROTEGE would like to make the following corrections: "Dec 13: There were really no new events added to the Carlyle Cup. Actually, I made the entire thing up. Jan 27: I didn't mean to criticize any of the writings mentioned, just figure out what the writers were attempting to say. Except Jamicia Lackey, actually. I did mean to criticize hers. Feb 3: Due to lack of space, I was not able to clarify that Geno Auriemma did shake Alana Beard's hand, just none of the other players.' Which, I guess, just makes him even more of an a------. Feb 10: On second thought, that might not have been Doc Brown. I think it might have been English professor Victor Strandberg. Also, the phrase "white music" was not a way to pathetically support a racial musical dichotomy that has been obliterated countless times by bands like the Chambers Brothers and by the very miscegenistic birth of rock and roll. It's just fun sometimes to make fun of guys like Jimmy Buffett and T. S. Eliot. Feb 17: There may have been some verbal irony in this one. Maybe in some others, as well, I'm not sure. Mar 3: Use of the word "gay" is not meant to imply that sexual orientation is actually something that exists, when, if one examines the facts, it is a social invention that dates back only to about 1892, when the concepts of "homosexual" and "heterosexual" were first invented. But no one seems to remember that. Mar 31: The word "elected" is here used a little bit loosely. Apr 7: Use of the phrase "white person" is not meant to enforce the idea that people are actually any certain race, which is a bizarre system that would seem particularly ridiculous to people from Brazil. Apr 14: Apologies for the moralistic monologue, but when some readers apparently blamed a column about social problems at the school for causing those social problems, a didactic explanation seemed advisable. Apr 21: I meant to mention Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr as well, but there wasn't space.

Brett Couric is a Trinity senior.