Column: The Great Duke sex change

This semester has been a time of readjustment and analysis. First, there was the transition back to life on campus after a semester abroad. Then there was dealing with the movement of social life and most friends' residences off campus. Lastly has been my entrance to single life for the first time at college.

Now it's in the lives of the unattached that I focus my investigation. I came back to campus stamped "available." I returned anticipating the same old situation: girls whining about wanting relationships and guys avoiding commitment. Duke boys - aside from the seniors who suddenly realize they are leaving the land of smart and pretty girls - were in major bachelor mode; libido was the L-word, not love. Guys were on a "use and dispose" program, where girls were looking for something non-biodegradable.

So, coming to campus in January, I expected to see the status quo. And while the normal situation still exists, there has been an interesting development throughout the semester. Within the female and male populations of undergrads has transpired what I like to call The Great Duke Sex Change. I'm not referring to innovative surgery or identity crises, but rather the switch in romantic intentions.

Where I once heard girls crying in the bathrooms about having no one to settle down with, I find frustrated women who "just want to be single." It's no longer "why can't I find someone?" but "why can't I find something noncommittal?" Yes, my friends, some girls just want to have fun. No promise rings, no naming kids and pets, but non-exclusive romantic interaction. It boils down to random, DL hook-ups.

The biggest surprise has come from the male corner. I did not expect to return to a campus where guys are saying "I need a definition of what we are" or "I want there to be a next year for us." It's not senior syndrome or solely upperclassmen who have gotten sick of the games. Some guys are swimming against the current toward - gasp - adult relationships! And while this is music to the ears of the steadfast female relationship-seekers, the problem is that these guys tend to pursue the noncommittal girls.

This alternative romantic lifestyle does come with advantages and disadvantages. One of the perks is reaffirmation. It's the moment when you realize you are happy to be unattached and unstressed about finding someone. So, when the mutant of a person who is your ex gets drunk and IMs you AGAIN just to call you a host of slurs and other choice derogatory phrases, you can throw your hands up, look toward the sky and yell "salvation!" Because no matter how alternate this sex change universe is, it's unquestionably better than whom and what you've left behind.

One disadvantage is reverting back to the norm. While we may set out on our romantically altered paths, some in this category become unhappy and want to go back. Case in point: the girl that gets her non-exclusive hook-up and a few weeks down the line decides she needs definition. Or, on the other hand, there is the guy who starts to settle down and then gets groom-like anxiety and bolts. Apparently this sex change is not meant for everyone.

I wonder whether this sect of romantic deviants is a permanent alteration or just a passing trend. Are we going to have figalos - female gigolos - and guys bitching at the urinals about not finding someone to cuddle with? Chances are no. Maybe it's the spring; maybe it's Duke. But having entered singledom for the first time since I was 17, I think it is a phase we all eventually go through as we re-learn the rules of love, only this time as adults, not adolescents.