Column: Evolution of my faith

It's funny how life changes you, even when you're not looking. I don't believe in coincidences - I believe in God and the fact that every incident, every encounter is an opportunity to learn more about myself and my relationship with Him. I came to Duke determined to maintain a 4.0, become editor of the school paper and make some lasting friendships. Completely failing to achieve that first goal (Math 32 sunk me in the first semester), I've learned I can't always anticipate the directions in which God will take me. This is only the first of a number of lessons I've learned during my time here:

Coming to college: It's not all about grades. That is a comforting statement to some of you who are hyperventilating over final exams and papers right now. To others, it may sound like an obvious statement, but it was a harder lesson for me to learn than I would have guessed. Most of us were academic achievers in high school, and the mathematical result of putting a bunch of top-tier kids in one school means that not everyone can be number one. Even though I never took orgo, I had my share of the sophomore slump - more than a couple of Cs and even a D, which I blame on the bout of pneumonia that Student Health failed to diagnose promptly. Whether it was illness or ill-exam preparation, my self-worth was put to test with the removal of my spotless academic record.

Initially, I panicked and considered myself a creature unworthy of the gothic halls of Duke (it was probably fitting, then, that I was living in Trent at the time). But over time, I learned to claim the promise that I had inherent value as God's child, whom He loved enough to die even before I had knowledge of His existence.

I realize the above statement could be construed as a mere excuse from a member of the "underachieving" quarter of the class who found God because her grades couldn't cut it. I'm not saying that academics isn't an important responsibility during our time here, but I can only say what I have found to be true. Whether we're making high marks or low marks, or are devoting our time to something entirely extracurricular, I think it's important to invest our identity in something truly immutable and unconditional. Circumstances will change - GPAs may fluctuate and relationships may come and go - but who I am in God's eyes won't.

During college: I've learned the more we step out of our comfort zones, the richer our life experiences can be. Take intellectual risks in your coursework and your conversations. Our beliefs are often like a muscle - they get stronger through tough workouts.

Allow your assumptions to be challenged, especially when it comes to other people. Before coming to Duke, my friends in the California bubble warned me that the South wasn't very "diverse," but I had to come here to encounter a less obvious variation on diversity - my impressions of Midwestern farmers, Noo Yawkers and debutantes all changed once I actually met some. And my presence has also challenged others' assumptions as well: I've been mistaken for an international student many times, and it surprises some to find that I've never been pre-med (or an engineer). It is only through more exposure, not isolation, that greater understanding may be approached.

Leaving college: Consider the Extreme Long Run. At Duke and other containment areas for overachievers, perspective tends to take the form of the Present ("It's Friday night!"), the Temporary Long Run ("It's Friday night, but I have a midterm next week!") and the Longer Temporary Long Run ("It's Friday night, but I have a midterm next week, and if I can't map the entire glycolysis pathway I'll have to go to a Tier 2 med school!").

These perspectives are all valid, to a point. But I think if our Duke experiences just boil down to four years of living in the moment or training for the next 40 years of our lives, we'll have underestimated the value of these years. It's not called Duke Vocational School for a reason.