Column: On prudence (and Myrtle, DSG and Chafe)

I am entitled by my editor to one rant each year. Here it is:

-- Important things first: I was recently made aware, by a friend familiar with Myrtle Beach, that the two historic motel establishments--The Rockin K and The Royal Palms--have been leveled. I was saddened by this news, and I'm sure many others are too. As a conservative, I will not only miss all the memories, good and bad, accumulated over the last three years, but also the tradition that these motels embodied. Tradition is ever under attack these days, both on campus and off. Other than the senior picnic, Myrtle promises to be the only event I will attend four years in a row. However, I can't imagine what it will be like now, without those sheltered courtyards protected by old man K and his billy club. In an effort both to scoop Faran on what may be the biggest social news of the year and to help perpetuate a living tradition, I ask the following questions of my fellow Duke students, particularly seniors: Where will people to go to hang out in a crowd when their cool friends ditch them? Where will the basketball players be seen in public? Where will purple passion happen? Will purple passion happen? What about those sorority girls who always get covered in a lot of nasty food? Providing a timely and coordinated answer to these questions may determine the future of Myrtle as we know it.

-- Has anyone noticed what DSG has done this year? Of course not, because DSG has done nothing. Overall, I am fairly pleased by this, because in every year past, when DSG did act, it did stupid things. One need only to recall the South Carolina flag travesty, the homosexual unions sham and the golf cart escort service to know what I mean. However, this year things might have been different, because the DSG president we elected, Joshua Jean-Baptiste, actually had some great ideas. So what happened? In one of the most neglected campus stories of last few months, the DSG Executive Committee crippled Jean-Baptiste's agenda at every turn. In particular, Executive Vice President Justin Ford and VP of Student Affairs Troy Clair put petty personal politics above the good of the campus and blocked initiatives, like the much-needed reform of DSG, from even passing beyond the Executive Committee. What's worse, Ford is now known to be proposing changes to DSG bylaws that will require a majority vote for the election of future DSG presidents. Jean-Baptiste, like most presidents, did not receive a majority vote, and a simple glance at annual number of candidates and interests involved in a DSG election indicates why such a phenomenon will be rare. The alternative is a number of run-off elections, which will ensure that by the time a candidate does receive a majority, few people will still be voting. Ford's pretense for this slap in the face to Jean-Baptiste is the assertion that this non-majority president hasn't been effective. Truth be known, Ford has been the biggest impediment to a worthwhile DSG this year. In the current state of affairs, one thing is certain, and that is that DSG does not deserve the student fee increase it will have on the ballot at the end of this month. The Duke Union, which will also have a fee increase on the ballot, has a record that stands in stark contrast to DSG, which is to say a good one. I never thought I'd say this, but "vote union."

-- Speaking of impediments to good ideas, bad spending procedures and partisan leaders, let's talk about Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences William Chafe. I don't know enough about Biological Anthropology and Anatomy to say whether financial crippling Duke's nationally renowned department is a bad idea. However, what I have observed from my experience as a student in political science and economics, is that these two large, mainstream departments can't seem to get adequate funding either. It's curious that after a $2 billion capital campaign Duke can't afford enough economists to enable the economics department keep pace with its long-rising majors enrollment. Chafe, who, if he doesn't make these decisions, has the unfortunate job of announcing them, also explained earlier this year that the university has to prioritize and recommit to "diversity." For someone whose academic credentials consist of being a historian of progressive liberal activism, this view is not surprising. Neither is the fact that programs such as those in women's studies and African and African-American studies are well funded. Putting to the side questions of their scholarly qualifications and the fact that they shamelessly sponsor unrepentant, convicted terrorists, one can still easily question the per capita expenditure of these programs. Few statistics would be more interesting that a breakdown of department expenditures divided by undergraduate enrollment in each major. I predict departments like economics lose big-time in this comparison. Here is another prediction: Tuition will continue to rise at rates far above inflation, our best departments will continue to be strangled by lack of funds and money will continue to flow disproportionately to boutique diversity programs.

-- Nan published a piece in last week's Chronicle of Higher Education explaining her views about when and how a university president should use the bully pulpit. The focus of her thoughtful reflection could be summarized in one word: prudence. One must wonder, however, if this piece was itself intended as rejoinder to the Whitehorn scandal or whether prudence dictates Nan make a more formal statement. Whitehorn confessed to eight terrorist bombings, is unrepentant and will be sponsored by a lot of Chafe's friends in March. Given that some of these sponsors have condoned Whitehorn's past, might it not be prudent for Nan to point out that she doesn't?

-- Finally, those looking for Valentine's Day festivities this year will note that, unlike years past, no one is selling tickets for that awful play, The Vagina Monologues. This is one tradition I'm glad to see end. I am told there will be a performance later in the spring, and, due to previous criticisms, there will be a new role included for men in the production. I find this development interesting and well intentioned, but wonder what they are going to do to the rest of the play to make it tolerable.

Bill English is a Trinity senior. His column appears every other Monday.