Outlook

Off the cuff

I was flabbergasted by the statement. If it had been part of a Doonesbury cartoon, it would have seemed reasonable.

Research Professor of Biology, Peter Klopfer, on the statement released by the office of the president regarding the changes on recruiting football players and on increasing the coaches' salaries.

The only thing that makes me buy CDs is I have an elaborate sound system in my car.

Freshman Bryce Walker, on the fading popularity of purchasing CDs to downloading MP3s.

Good change? Hell no. I guess it's better for them, but one of the good things about living [in Trent] is having Grace's.

Junior Abdulla Fakhro, on the possible move of Grace's Cafe to Uncle Harry's.

Duke University... has gotten its share of applications in which students say in effect, 'Please don't accept me, I'm applying because my parents want me to.'

Head Coach Dan Brooks, on the international flavor of the Duke women's golf team.

--Sources: The Chronicle, U.S. News & World Report, The Boston Globe

Stats 101: Crime

No crime is too small or too strange for any criminal to commit. From multiple CD thefts to peeping toms, 2002 has seen its share of funny as well as obscene crimes committed on and around campus.

28 reported cases of CD thefts, including one Meredith Brooks CD. Taken from cars, dorm rooms and bags, they have been the most attractive items stolen to date.

27 reported cases of parking gate arms being broken, often in the Edens parking lot and the Blue Zone.

17 reported incidents of laptop theft. Next to CDs, laptops are the second most popular item stolen.

6 cases of peeping toms or stalkings reported around campus, five of which took place during February. Happy Valentine's Day!

2 masturbators seen on campus, both by female students.

1 case of 3-gallon butter pecan and rocky road tubs from Breyers ice cream stolen--complete with an ice cream scoop.

--Source: The Chronicle

Wonderland and Rockpile