During the recent quad protest, I noticed few people were really paying attention to the message, and many joked at how odd and displaced it looked. This is odd and disappointing. Here are ways in which I would make the next protest more successful in promoting its message.
--Traditional white posters are drab. Use more eye-catching devices, like lingerie models or provocative pictures. Curse words work well too.
--Conduct the time-honored tradition of chanting with soul and feeling. Add extra bass to the crowd, especially during "War" by Edwin Starr. Also, give everyone megaphones to achieve maximum volume.
--Abandon standard Duke attire. Your clothing should be as dirty and ripped as possible appearing as if the cause is so time consuming that you don't have time to do anything else, like basic grooming. Dried mud is a plus. Hemp too.
--Marching in a straight line is far too militaristic. A large seething mass is more effective and imposing.
--For a real statement, hold the rally at night. Use torches for light. Carry pitchforks.
--Every protest should have at least one person who has personally experienced what you are protesting. This lends a large degree of credibility to your movement.
--Topics to be covered by every protest: Sweatshops and Nike, U.S. police power, abortion, whales, spotted owls, third-world farmers and Starbucks, race inequality, the Catholic Church, Republicans, Palestine, SUVs, the School of the Americas and the rainforest.
--Don't smile. No one will take your complaints seriously. If you aren't suffering for the cause, how can anyone else be expected to?
--Finally, never have someone play the fiddle. It leads to too many jokes about Nero and things burning.
I look forward to seeing these ideas in practice and a more effective protest.
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