It's that time of year again kiddies, and your friendly neighborhood crypt keeper is opening up his basket of goodies for the frightful festivities. For all of the ghastly ghouls out there looking for a little scare this hallowed eve, let me present to you this offering of scrumptious screams.
In the darkest regions of the crypt lurks The Black Cat (1934). This fiendish flick stars two of the crypt keeper's all-stars, Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi. These masters of the macabre take terror to levels never duplicated in this tale of occult horror. An enemy from the past, satanic rituals and an unholy fear of cats take centerstage. The Black Cat trowels the depths of the human mind as the fun climaxes when human lives hang in the balance of a game of chess.
My next creepy classic is George Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968). This freak show proves that the original is still the best bet for all you necrophiliacs. After nuclear research turns the newly deceased into connoisseurs of human flesh, a small group of humans must defend their turf to the gruesome grand finale. Shockingly terrific, this low-budget dirge will have you crawling in your skin in no time.
Maybe zombies aren't your body bag, so for all you comp sci majors, I've got a spooky concoction to have you white-knuckling your pocket protectors. In Demon Seed (1977), an overzealous researcher creates Proteus, the perfect machine. But as he soon realizes, Proteus is a creation beyond the control of any man. The devilish Proteus ensnares the wife of his creator and eventually impregnates her with the demon seed. If you want to see the true shape of terror, you have to uncover your eyes first.
Next we have a film starring the crypt keeper's right-hand man, Henry. Chronicling the hideous saga of one of America's Most Psychotic, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) comes with the crypt keeper's special warning: Watch if you dare! Henry enjoys killing, consuming human lives. His freakishly normal facade will unsettle your soul until you will wish you were having a nightmare. Beware, this grisly grain of cinematic delight will have you watching your back and suspecting your neighbor of the unthinkable.
Finally, I present to you my personal favorite, the creme de la crypt, Dead Alive (1992). Body parts fly in this gore fest, directed by the lusciously lurid Peter Jackson, who left me licking my chops for more. Creepy, diseased spider monkeys spread a disease that turns you inside out--literally. And like our friends in Night of the Living Dead, everyone afflicted somehow can't help but consume human pieces (a delicious trick or treat snack). Dead Alive mixes smiles with screams as the hapless protagonist first tries to rationalize with, but finally vaporizes his zombie attackers in a climax that turns a lawnmower into an undead blender.
Well, that's all for this year kiddies. But I would like to wish you a tremendously terrifying holiday season. See you in your nightmares!
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