Coca-Cola stopped adding cocaine to its drink in the 1890s, but they hope to give drinkers an addictive fix with a new infusion. In a nod to restaurants that have been adding flavoring to sodas for over 50 years, Coca-Cola released its not-so-long awaited Vanilla Coke last week.
It tastes like Coke all right, and it tastes like vanilla, but the drink falls short of the "smooth new taste that's intriguing from the very first sip" its special website promises.
Smooth it ain't. And adding the Eurocentric little bean is intriguing all right, but only in the same way as green ketchup is.
Since Cherry Coke debuted in 1986, we've seen the highway of cola littered with the ghosts of beverages past. The likes of the sadly now-defunct Crystal Pepsi in the early 1990s--which I loved, but everyone else thought tasted like kerosene--and a proliferation of other cola variations, from Pepsi ONE, to Pepsi Twist, to Diet Coke with Lemon last year have had varying degrees of success, despite the hype. Fewer calories, different flavors. Just wait--maybe in 10 years we can sip chocolate Pepsi at just one-tenth of a calorie.
So what's the prediction on Vanilla Coke? A half-life of 18 months. (Especially since there's not yet a Diet Vanilla Coke.)
Next time, just add the cocaine.
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