The best advice is unsolicited. Follow these tips for the most, umm, "memorable" spring break experience.
That guy with the camera is probably shooting for his own personal use.
Forget about money for food--Cancun takes points.
You can get really high on a ski lift.
You can find perfect powder on the beach, too.
Cruise-going ladies: Three words--shuffleboard sugar daddies.
MTV loves chin spikes! The more you look like the Hellraiser guy, the better your chances of being on TV with the other beautiful people.
The frugal spring breaker reuses condoms.
When arrested for disorderly behavior, refrain from giving the officer a Lacanian analysis of the power relations between authority structures and the divided--or in this case, pissed drunk--subject.
High school parties back home will be alarmingly more fun than West Campus. Consider not coming back.
Good Time Charlies is the best joint in town.
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