Rollerball Crashes

Remember Waterworld? Other than a few laughs, memory should recall something regarding total blockbuster failure. Enter Rollerball. Using excess color and noise, director John McTiernan throws terrible acting, heavy metal music, and an unhealthy dose of political confusion into the proverbial blender.

The result? A shapeless brown mush that stinks of incompetence and poisons with stupidity. With so much weak acting and writing in one film, Rollerball stoops to a level so low that by comparison even Britney Spears appears Oscar worthy.

Considered a sci-fi cult classic, the 1975 original rippled with pre-cold war socio-political tensions between capitalism vs. socialism. While not a particularly great film, the original at least had pointed social commentary on spectator violence. Mostly action-flick muck, the remake does attempt to force some type of anti-corporate/communist/violence message--and it all registers somewhere below the level of Starship Troopers.

Played on a figure-eight track with roller-skates and motorcycles, Rollerball is a cross between roller derby, roman gladiators, and felony assault that is only slightly less confusing than Quidditch. Awkward dialogue and a failed script make it increasingly difficult to take any of the actors seriously. Chris Klein shows much promise in succeeding Kevin Costner and Keanu Reeves as this generations' worst actor. Oh yeah, LL Cool J--keep your day job.

This picture falls apart in such grand fashion, that I feel bad for all those involved. The social themes of the original wither and die as the film shamelessly uses speed and violence to target the PG-13 teen audience. The only social message to be found is in the horrors of a capitalist economy that wastes so many millions on this colorful disaster.