Love the Lovage, Baby

emember that guy from Faith No More, the one in the video who stomps around in the rain all pissed off, headbanging and punching at the camera? Did you ever picture that guy making the kind of music you'd throw on the hi-fi to set the mood for some serious sex? Yeah, neither did I. And that, my friend, is why you and I do not get invited over to Damon Albarn's loft to play video games.

But Dan "the Automator" Nakamura sure as hell does. The mastermind producer behind such conceptual gems as Gorillaz, Deltron 3030 and Handsome Boy Modeling School, Nakamura (who goes by Nathaniel Merriweather on this album) chose that guy (who goes by Mike Patton to those who give a damn) as the featured vocalist on his latest stoned stroke of genius, entitled Lovage: Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By. On Lovage, Patton trades his combat boots for some bedroom slippers and teams up with Jennifer Charles' (of Elysian Fields) orgasm-oozing vocals for twelve songs about love, circus freaks and sex on a train.

So just exactly what is this Olovage'? Based on the somewhat hazy descriptions in the lyrics and liner notes, lovage is one of two things: 1) An herb that relieves gas and prevents you from farting in front of your lady. 2) The perfect music for seducing that lady, once you've gotten rid of the first problem. And judging by the heavy dose of moaning, panting and come-on lines like "You are the griddle, I am the meat," it's gonna work. But the real question is: beside being the secret to turning your latest crush into your latest conquest, is this sex-in-a-jewel-box worth a damn musically?

Ooooh, daddy, you know it.

It's not as original a sex-spoof as the hilarious and surprisingly solid Handsome Boy Modeling School, as adventurous as the genre-bending Gorillaz, or even as other-wordly as Deltron 3030, but it's charming in its own greasy way--much like Larry from "Three's Company." Nakamura may like to goof on Barry White, but he doesn't fool around when it comes to skills. Add cameos by Afrika Bambaataa, Blur's Damon Albarn and Prince Paul, mix it up with Kid Koala's turntable skills and you've got something to get hot about. Now go home, pour yourself and your lady some Hennessy, and get it on.