Winter Fashion Frenzy

t seems Osama bin Laden has been sending acid to the fashion industry. This season's spastic flashbacks to the less appealing highlights since the last world war give distinct evidence that Calvin and Donatella must be tripping. Nevertheless, expect to see even the worst of the designers' hallucinations on the BC Runway this winter (think faux-fur pumps). For those who choose to partake in this four-month Halloween, we have included a helpful map--complete with dress code--of places where this season's costumes might actually blend in. GARDENS Though some prefer to be in the Gardens au natural, that ends up in crime reports. The next best alternative: the bohemian look--very hippy, lots of skin--just think Frida Kahlo does Woodstock. Flowing skirts and off-the-shoulder peasant tops are affordable on even a gypsy's budget and are available at any local thrift store. DOWNTOWN DURHAM Being the humanitarian you are (you know, the one you became after that little visit to court), you head downtown for some community service. Always one to look chic in even the most miserable of circumstances, you ditch the orange vest and opt for this season's hobo bag. Cuffed jeans with boots complete the Duke-does-Durham look. TENTING As the temperature drops, logical Duke students head outdoors to tent--proving that no matter how many kegs they take away, we still won't act rationally. But, we can act fashionably. As political correctness dies, so do the animals making your coat. Fur is back this season, and it's as warm and posh as it was in 1986. Then again, if you can spring for the fur coat, why not invest in season tickets? But, we're logical Duke students. SHOOTERS The Western bar in the middle of Durham has always welcomed strange apparel. This season, forget the jeans and cowboy hats--the Yankees are going to teach the Texans a little something about riding. Tight pants and equestrian boots will be a shocker to the mullet-sporting bartender (but then again, he saw lip sync). However, the proper equestrian should be prepared to have the ride of her life when taking on the bull. Hold on, honey. FRAT PARTIES With everyday wear paying tribute to all the decades, there is little need for decade theme parties. The lack of such parties this semester begs the question: Do frat boys read Vogue? If such a party should arise, keep in mind the following: Nautical striped sweaters for the O60s, bohemian skirts for the O70s, thick belts and stiletto boots for the O80s. And, please tell us no one is having a O90s party, unless of course, Osama has expanded his acid mailing list to include fraternity sections.