Chaotic Castration

Ever wonder how that floating phallus got in your fruit punch? Tammy/Tommy Felbaum might be able to explain.

Two decades ago, Tammy underwent a sex change operation and became widely known as Tammy/Tommy. So in an effort to keep this story straight, let's clarify: She was a girl and now she's a girl/boy. Along the way, Tammy married--again and again, and thrice again after that.

Recently, after a lovely trip to rehab and a brief sojourn at a halfway house, Tammy/Tommy's sixth husband, James Felbaum, returned to their trailer residence, which was filled with human and animal waste. Oh home, sweet home!

Three days later, his loving "wife" decided two male members were one too many for the trailer. According to authorities, after James took some of Tammy/Tommy's oxycodone--synthetic morphine--Tammy/Tommy relieved him of his third leg. Another clarification: The copycat Lorena used a sharp utensil to cut off her husband's penis, rendering him an emasculated mate--and a dead one at that. Ms./Mr. Felbaum is not a physician, nor was she in any way qualified to perform the "surgery" which led to James's death. Due to a castration complication, James began vomiting and suffocated.

Tammy/Tommy was arrested for James's murder as well as on an animal cruelty charge. Tammy/Tommy's trailer was also home to two dogs, five cats, three birds, dead turtles, a dead parakeet and a cat strung up in the backyard. The Blair Witch would be green with envy.

There's no word on any new nuptials for T/T. Maybe John Wayne Bobbitt's single.

--By Cary Hughes