Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Do British people really speak like this?

The plot of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels centers on a group of four happy-go-lucky guys who say "bollocks" all the time. Let's call them Our Heroes. Our Heroes wile away their twenties between pints of Guinness and small-time crimes in shady London: They hock hot TVs, unload small amounts of weed and even steal vegetables for their friend the cook. Their grand plan is to amass £100,000 (quid, bob, stinkers, never "pounds" in the movie) so their leader, Ed, can enter a card game run by an underworld boss named Harry. Somehow, they actually come up with the cash, and Ed (he's a card shark because he can read people's reactions... oooooh!) shows up at Harry's and puts the 100,000 quid on the line.

Our Hero Ed does well for a while, but Harry (the cheating bastard!) well, cheats, and Ed ends up owing Harry 500,000 stinkers. Doh! Foiled again! Harry, being the generous Shylock that he is, gives Ed and his buddies a week to come up with the cash or they start losing fingers one by one. (So, how many fingers equate to a pound of flesh? Sorry.) Turns out that what Harry really wants is Ed's father's neighborhood pub. All fine and good, except that Ed's father is Sting. Yup, STING! Harry's henchman (the King of Pain?) threatens to put a little black spot on his son today. Again, sorry.

The rest of the movie involves one huge elaborate scheme to get Our Heroes the 500,000 quid so Sting can keep his ego, oops I mean pub. The cast of characters involved is immense: There's Harry and his Henchmen (the bad guys), the two bumbling keystone crooks they hire to steal a couple of antique muskets (those two guys from Home Alone?) a group of weed-growers ("the botanicals"), a sensitive-'90s single-parent hitman and his apprentice son, a constantly unconscious dope girl and for the ultimate in non-sequiturs, an afro-sporting black mob boss and his henchmen (the black guys). Oh, and there's this traffic cop, too. Every character is at once stupid, charismatic and lovable in his own way, and each ends up becoming embroiled in the plot by the end.

Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels starts off slowly but develops into a really funny movie. Funniest scene: Our Heroes try to buy weapons and end up buying those damn antique muskets. Most gratifying scene: Everyone beats the hell out of the traffic cop. I got your $30 citation right here.

Go see the movie. It's funny.