Letter: Officials should also consider `abuse dormitory'

Since it seems likely that the University will approve of a "Wellness Dorm" on East Campus for those freshmen who wish to live a "tobacco-free, alcohol-free and drug-free" life, I would like to propose, in the spirit of diversity and variety, that there be another elective house available to freshmen.

This elective house would be called the "Abuse Dorm," although it could be known informally as the "Arthur Rimbaud Dorm." It would be a dorm dedicated to the "systematic derangement of all the senses." Students would be obliged to take as many substances as possible during their residence, and could choose from a selection of programs on self-abuse, as well as courses on the writings of the Marquis de Sade, Rimbaud, Charles Baudelaire, William Burroughs and Charles Bukowski.

Residents would not be permitted to enter the Abuse Dorm sober or clean of drugs. It would be a "safe haven for those who choose to live that kind of lifestyle" and would provide students with the opportunity of a unique substance-ridden university experience. I have no doubt that the dorm would prove popular with our future freshmen, and that the prospects of setting up a sister dorm on West Campus would be promising.