I received a hilarious e-mail recently, and I’m including a part of it here with the sender’s permission.
“Why has there been a dearth of interesting e-mails sent to this listserv of late? Entertain me, please. I’m a poor guy who sits in front of his computer figuring out code all day long. Every time my Thunderbird bird pops up at the bottom right of my screen and says, ‘You have new mail,’ I swear my heart skips a beat. It’s like something really exciting is about to happen—something which will jar me from my otherwise miserable existence. Also, I don’t know how many of you use Thunderbird, but dang it, the bird reminds me of a stork delivering a baby to soon-to-be parents. It’s like a little bundle of joy.”
I think that most of us can identify—to some extent, at least—with my friend’s sense of anticipation at receiving a new e-mail. Sure, all of us complain about receiving 50 e-mails a day, but there’s always hope that the next one will tell you that you won a prize or that you just landed your dream job or that your three-hour lab is canceled this week.
E-mail has certainly revolutionized the way we communicate, and none of us would question its usefulness. Yet despite its convenience, there are many dangers associated with it.
Like most of you readers out there, I’ve personally received and sent thousands of e-mails—which I guess is a fair amount of e-mail “experience.” I decided to list down some of the things I’ve learned so far, and you can feel free to disagree. Most of my learning points stem from the fact that e-mails are often misunderstood because you can’t properly convey emotions. And once you, as the recipient, have decided what you think the sender intended to say, you respond—frequently even before you’ve had a chance to clarify the ambiguous parts of the message. So here’s the list I’ve come up with:
1. E-mail should only be used to communicate “neutral” or “positive” messages, and not “negative” ones.
E-mail should be used to share information, ask questions, accept offers and give compliments. These are all “neutral” or “positive” things. In some of these cases, however, a phone call or a face-to-face conversation might still be more appropriate.
E-mail should never be used to criticize or to tell people off, nor should it be used as a platform to vent frustration or to express anger. I’ve even seen e-mail employed as an instrument of emotional blackmail—and it wasn’t pretty how things turned out. Some people I know have even found out that they’ve been kicked off a team or organization via e-mail. That’s like being fired from your job via e-mail!
2. The “Bcc” function should be used when appropriate.
My friend and I once applied for a summer program where spaces were limited. When I received the e-mail telling me that I was through to the interview round, the sender did not Bcc the recipients. I could see exactly who else had been selected—and my friend was not on the list! That certainly made for some awkwardness. (I didn’t make it past the interview round, which helped to mitigate the sticky situation.)
Like me, you probably receive far too many sensitive e-mails which should be Bcc-ed instead of just sent “To” the recipients.
3. Do not reply or forward a personal e-mail to a group of people.
We craft our e-mails differently if we think it will be read by one person, compared to if we think it will be read by a group of people. On a number of occasions I’ve made inquiries over e-mail to a single person. The recipient, however, replied not just to me, but to other people who might have had the same question as me—without deleting my initial e-mail from the thread. I was left feeling slightly embarrassed: I didn’t know that my question (which now seemed extremely foolish) would be read by so many people!
4. Before you even start writing an e-mail, ask yourself if it wouldn’t be more effective to just make a phone call.
I’ve certainly been guilty of not adhering to this guideline. I’ve arranged meetings and study sessions by e-mail; I’ve given advice and performed counseling by e-mail; I’ve made apologies and tried to mend friendships by e-mail. Yet I think that a phone call or in-person conversation would have been a better option in many of those instances.
As a concluding remark, I’ve heard it said that we ought to strive for efficiency with things and effectiveness with people. At the heart of it, communication is about people, not merely information and details. Admittedly, e-mail is an efficient form of communication, but it is not necessarily the most effective. Let’s pause the next time before we click “Send” to ask ourselves if that “bundle of joy” might turn out to be a “bundle of terror” instead.
Daniel Wong is a Pratt junior. His column runs every other Wednesday.
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